


Mario walks into a coffee shop

by TearsAndFlowers



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bisexual Mario, Coffee Shops, M/M, Post-Odyssey, Trans Female Character, i've officially run out of title ideas, no beta we die like goombas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28139751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TearsAndFlowers/pseuds/TearsAndFlowers
Summary: Mario is feeling down after the events of Odyssey. Fortunately, a group of unlikely friends has his back.
Relationships: Koopa | Bowser/Mario, Mentioned Mario/Peach, Mentioned Pauline/Peach
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Mario walks into a coffee shop

**Author's Note:**

> I posted a Mareach fic earlier this year, so I decided to post a Bowsario one too. Gotta get both ships in before the year ends!
> 
> This fic was inspired by the coffee shop scenes in Origami King (though this is taking place in the normal, non-paper universe). I took the minions from the first one and made OCs loosely based on them. How Mario accesses the coffee shop(s) in this universe is up to you, I guess.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Joe the Koopa Troopa loved his job. True, he'd enjoyed directly serving Bowser, but running a secret coffee shop for his fellow minions was rewarding in its own way. He knew better than anyone how tiring their work was, and liked providing a way for others to unwind after another rough day.

Day by day, many different people came and went. Some he would only see once, others he would see many times. He enjoyed chatting with each of them, getting to know them all a little better. His job was never lonely or boring because of it. Out of all of his regular customers, there were three that he looked forward to seeing the most. The four of them had become good friends over time--despite the fact that one of them was never supposed to find this shop in the first place.

When Joe had asked Mario how he'd found this place, despite it being well hidden, he'd just shrugged and asked if the koopa took Mushroom Kingdom coins. Everyone else there had been nervous about his presence--after all, they'd been knocked unconscious by his signature jump many, many times. However, it had quickly become clear that Mario meant no harm, and was there for the same reason as anyone else: to relax after a long day.

Mario had soon become a regular. Without fail, he and the same two minions showed up every Wednesday around 6 PM. As everyone had gotten more comfortable around each other, Mario had become more willing to open up about what his own day had been like. As it turned out, being a hero wasn't any easier than being a minion. It too was a tiring job, one that often led to a lot of stress. Joe was always willing to let Mario let off some steam when he needed to. That's what he'd opened this coffee shop for, after all.

Joe glanced up at the clock. It was 6 PM. The first of the group would be here any moment. He started preparing a cup of iced coffee.

Sure enough, the goomba showed up right on time.

"Hey, Gary," Joe greeted. "I've got your usual right here."

"I can always count on you, buddy." Gary sat down at the counter. "It's always nice to come here after a long day of pacing back and forth. It might seem like an easy job, but it's _exhausting_."

Joe set the iced coffee in front of Gary. He'd made sure to include a straw, to make things easier on his armless customer.

"Yeah, tell me about it. I had a similar job before I opened this shop. People don't realize how hard we minions work everyday."

Gary eagerly gulped his drink. "Yeah, right? What's a guy gotta do for some appreciation around here?"

"Careful," Joe said with a chuckle, "you might get brainfreeze."

Not long after, the second regular walked in.

"Hey, Skye!" said Gary. "How's it hangin'?"

The Shy Gal sat down next to him. "Eh, it's fine," she replied. "Hey, did you hear about what happened on the moon?"

Gary slurped his iced coffee. "Oh yeah, I heard the boss got rejected real bad. Poor guy."

Skye turned to face Gary. "I heard Mario got rejected too."

"Wow, really?" Joe set down a mug of black coffee in front of Skye. "I thought Mario and the princess had something between them."

Skye took a drink of her coffee. "Yeah, I was surprised too."

"Poor guy," said Gary. "Hope he's doing okay."

Mario arrived a few minutes later than usual. His hair was a mess, there were bags under his eyes, and the expression on his face clearly said "I would rather be at home in bed right now".

"Hey, Mario!" Joe greeted. "Whoa, you okay? You don't look so good."

He had seen Mario stressed before, but never _this_ bad.

Mario responded with a half-hearted grunt. He sat down at the counter without a word.

"I'll get you a coffee right away," said Joe.

Mario nodded absentmindedly.

"So, uh…" Gary hesitated. "I heard about what happened on the moon. That, uh...that sucks, man."

The only reply he received was another grunt.

"You know you can talk to us, right?" Skye chimed in.

Mario nodded.

"Here you go." Joe set a cappuccino in front of Mario. "No need to pay this time; it's on the house."

"Thanks," Mario said quietly.

For a few minutes, the only sound was the three customers drinking their coffee.

"So, uh…" Joe cleared his throat. "How've you been?"

"Not great," Mario admitted.

Joe frowned. "I'm guessing it's about Princess Peach?"

Mario sighed. "Yeah. I really thought she was the one, you know? But I guess she didn't feel the same way." He fidgeted with one of the straps on his overalls. "I thought maybe she was just annoyed by my timing--I mean, Bowser had just been trying to force her into marrying him, so that was a really bad time for me to propose. But yesterday, I found out that it's not just that."

"Oh?" Skye leaned forward. "What happened?"

Mario sipped his cappuccino. "Turns out she just started dating Pauline, my ex-girlfriend."

"That's rough, buddy," said Gary.

"Ouch," Skye agreed.

Mario just grunted again.

There was another awkward silence. It only lasted several minutes, but it felt more like an hour. It was only when Mario finished his drink that anyone spoke.

"I should probably get going," he said, about to stand up.

"Nah, stay for a bit," Joe insisted. "I'll get you some more coffee. Or maybe a hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate would be nice, actually."

As Joe went to make the hot chocolate, Mario sighed again. "I guess I just don't have a lot of luck with love. All the girls I've liked have ended up dating each other, and all the guys I've liked have turned out to be straighter than Bowser's flagpoles."

"At least you _had_ potential girlfriends," Skye replied. "As you might guess by the name 'Shy Guys', most people of my kind are, well, guys. So, yeah, I haven't had any luck in that department. I guess I'll have to start looking for dates outside of my own species."

"I mean, my uncle is engaged to a Boo," said Gary. "It's not that unusual."

Joe set the hot chocolate down in front of Mario.

"Thanks, Joe," the plumber said. "Oh, I've had a crush on a non-human before. Still do, actually. Unfortunately, that one would never work out either."

"'Never would'?" Skye repeated. "Does that mean you've never actually told them?"

Mario shook his head. "Nah. I already know he hates me, so there's no point in telling him. I'm dealing with enough heartache right now anyway."

"How do you know he hates you?" Joe asked.

"Because he's told me so. Many times."

"But you continue to hang around him?" Gary asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, he's, uh…" Mario hesitated. "He's someone that I have to see regularly because of...my job. We've been rivals for a long time."

"So why do you like him?" Skye asked.

"Well…" Mario thought for a moment. "He's a great father, he cares about his, uh…workers, he's hardworking and determined and never gives up, he's good at sports, he's a surprisingly talented dancer…" Mario grinned amorously. "And he's very, _very_ hot."

"Wow, he sounds like the total package," said Gary.

"So why exactly don't you get along?" Joe asked. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I guess I just get in his way a lot." Mario sipped his hot chocolate. "Plus, when we do stuff outside of work like go-karting or tennis or whatever, I kick his butt more than half the time. I don't think he appreciates that much."

"Wait, you play sports together even though he hates you?" Skye asked.

"Yeah, why would he keep agreeing to that if he wanted nothing to do with you?" Gary added.

Mario shrugged with a roll of his eyes. "Probably just so he can prove he's better than me." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Though between you and me, _I'm_ better. Just to set the record straight."

"Or maybe he doesn't hate you as much as you think," Joe suggested. "Maybe he likes playing sports with you and just doesn't want to admit it."

"Maybe," Mario said doubtfully.

"You should ask him about it next time. Ask him why he keeps agreeing to play with you." Joe smiled. "Who knows, maybe the answer will surprise you."

Mario gulped down the rest of his hot chocolate, then wiped his mouth with his glove. "I guess I could try," he said uncertainly. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen? He just says the same things he always says?"

"That's the spirit!" Joe took Mario's empty mug. "So, same time next week?"

"Yeah." Mario stood up. "Thanks, guys. I needed that."

"Any time," said Joe.

"Of course," said Skye.

"No problem, pal," said Gary.

After Mario left, the three minions turned to each other.

"So…" Skye coughed. "Are we going to discuss the fact that Mario has a crush on Lord Bowser?"

Gary's eyes went comically wide. "Wait, _that's_ who he was talking about?!"

Joe shook his head and smiled. "Nope. Nothing we talked about today is leaving this shop."

Joe loved his job.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to @CThreeleaf on Twitter for coming up with the flagpole joke. (And thanks to my other Twitter followers for helping me decide if I should use the term "Shy Gal" for Skye or not.)
> 
> So, about the OCs' names: Gary is named after a goomba in Super Paper Mario, though I consider him to be his own character. Skye is named that because I like the name. Joe is named that because coffee puns.
> 
> The only one I really have a design idea for is Skye. I like to imagine she has a propeller on her head (like the Fly Guys) and wears the colors of the trans flag. (Oh yeah, she's trans. Deal with it.)
> 
> Bowser's depictions have varied across games, and I think his treatment of his minions is one of those things that depends on the game. But I remember that in Origami King, he was horrified and upset by what the origami soldiers were doing to his minions, so I've included that in my own take on the character. The part about him being a good dancer is a reference to the DDR game. Seriously, if you haven't seen him dance in that game, you've gotta look it up on YouTube--it's glorious.


End file.
